Jul

Fireworks, The 4th, and Boring Web Copy

By Sid

4th of July Fireworks Last summer my son and daughter-in-law brought the grand kids down to Oregon from Seattle for the 4th.

That was fun, but the best part is that they brought some illegal Washington fireworks with them.

Oregon fireworks are about as exciting as watching the rain fall… sparklers that fizzle out in 20 seconds… “rockets” that put out a few sparks and make an obnoxious whistling sound… and the ever popular poppers.

The illegal fireworks, in the other hand… man, they were fun! I loved the bottle rockets that shot 50 or 60 feet into the air, then burst into a cloud of color. I think the grandkids liked the display, too. I couldn’t tell, since Jason and I were busy being kids ourselves.

The Once-a-Year Celebration…

I heard someone ask if they have 4th of July in Canada. The respondent (not me) said, “No, they don’t.”

All joking aside (eh?), the Canadians do, indeed have a 4th of July. They just don’t shoot off fireworks and celebrate it the way we do. It’s too bad. I think every day should be a 4th of July.

I don’t mean with the fireworks and everything. I’d just like to see more celebration on a daily basis. We get to let loose a few times a year, party hearty, celebrate like mad fools… and then climb back into our puritanical “business suits” to slog through the rest of the year.

Sounds depressing, doesn’t it?

So, when I’m on the web looking for a company to give me a hand with a problem, I’d like to be celebrated!

Show me some fireworks. Light a big ‘ol sparkler on my behalf. Give me some web copy that sings MY praises and lifts me high into the sky on a rainbow of benefits.

For example, instead of telling me:

Smarsh provides proactive message archiving solutions that help your company manage: Compliance and Records Retention – the need to organize, index, retrieve, store and protect these electronic records is crucial… (www.smarsh.com)

How about this:

Starting today you can relax! Take a hard-earned vacation or focus on your business. You can even smile when some government wonk wants to audit your electronic records. It’s all taken care of for you – automatically, even when you’re on the back nine: E-mail records and even Twitter posts are encrypted, archived, and readily accessible ANY time you need them…

See what I mean?

Most web copy can use a little sizzle and spark. Like the state of Oregon, who thinks that we’re all out to burn the state down, business web copywriters think that compelling, lively copy is going to make them look “unprofessional.”

Hogwash.

Compelling, lively copy is what helps you to sell your products and services. People buy based on their emotions, and NOT their rational minds.

So, here’s what I want you to do this weekend:

Celebrate wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, and whatever is happening in your life. Shoot off a couple of mental fireworks if you don’t have the real ones.

Have fun and enjoy your time. Yes, even you Canadians who don’t have a July 4th. Eat some watermelon and have a seed spitting contest.